Rage

I’ve got a friend at college, who gets some serious rage attacks… Mostly they’re harmless and usually quite amusing because of the torrent of profanity that oft follows whatever has set him off… Especially since in these moments he has little or no regard for where he’s at… For him to yell at someone that they’re a “stupid pretencious c*nt” in the middle of a busy shopping centre on a Tuesday afternoon is perhaps not great – the fact it was in relation to the pronuciation of the word “scone” is, I think, a little bit more amusing.

I like to think of myself as being quite even-keeled, balanced and restrained. The only exception is when I’m playing guitar; when it’s a full on, take no prisoners, no holds barred, tour-de-force of guitar insanity…. But now and again something will just hit me quite right and I’ll have to really fight myself to stay calm and in control… I’m no longer as angry as I used to be, I’m a lot more comfortable being me – the problem is I’m more comfortable, but not any happier…

I’ve spoken about a girl who I liked, who was kind-of-seeing The-Other-Guy, and I’d given up… I started to get over her, and was doing a fairly OK job at it, and she’s now decided to give up on him… This messed me up, because I couldn’t decide whether she was telling me because we’re friends, or she was interested in me… Plus, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to open up that whole scenario again… I decide to keep my distance for a while, to wait it out and see if there was any sign from her… there wasn’t, but I decided I’d try and subtley let her know that I was still interested in her (yes, I know… I thought i’d got over her too). Now I find out that she went out a few nights ago, and is going on a date with some guy she met that night…   Where do I stand?!? She says it’s not anything serious, she says it’s a sure-fire way to make sure she’s over T-O-G, she says it probably won’t become anything… But I’m getting the impression that we’re going to just be friends, but I don’t think I’ve got enough backbone to just turn round and ask her “Seriously, girl – WTF?!?”

I mean, obviously I’d use real words and hopefully be a little more eloquant with it… but you get the gist…

Anyone got any insight into this that I might be missing?!? by ‘anyone’ – I probably mean J – because she’s probably the only person that reads this, and certainly the only one who comments!!